Marriage

I got married when I was 20 years old, that’s 3 years older than my son now and I would never in my right mind ‘let him’ get married so young, I couldn’t stop him of course but I would advise him to wait a bit.

I met Edwardo at school, we were 11 years old and it seemed like the perfect love story, meeting at school, loosing touch and then meeting again and then marrying? Well up to a point I guess it was, I didn’t really know Edwardo in ‘normal’ school, it was only when we reached 6th form that I really got to know him, well sort of. He would hide my bag and lend me his Beatles CD (You know being the mid 90’s and The Brit Pop takeover was in full swing), one of his best friends was a childhood friend of mine and I mean from the moment we were born, we were born on the same day, same hospital and all throughout our life we attended the same play school, primary and then secondary school and lived just a road apart, so Edwardo would visit often and one night we all went for a walk, little did I know just a couple of years later we would be married. We left school and he moved in with his girlfriend many miles away and I never really thought anything more about him, I was getting on with my life at a hotel and off following 5ive, I was happy,

In May 1999, Edwardo and our other friend, turned up at my house, now our friend was a likeable chap and when we were in our last year at school I gave him a birthday card (to this day nearly 30 years later I still can’t remember his actual birth date, I always am a few days before!) with my address in and that night he found the card and there they were, we went to the cinema and that was it, we were inseparable, well sort of, it was about two weeks later that we went out on our first date and he wanted to go ‘swinging’ (yep, even then my eyes were like saucers and I had no idea what he meant), he wanted to go on the swings lol.

By the end of August our wedding was set for just 2 weeks later, this was back in the day you could get married on a ‘whim’ and not have to wait a month at least, I am not sure how my parents took it or his mum but they seemed to accept it and even though we didn’t want anything fancy, they all set to work with what little time we had left, his dad however didn’t like it as he thought Edwardo was moving too fast after the break up of his relationship to his ex was less than four months prior but that didn’t stop us.

We got married at the start of September and everyone assumed there was a baby Edwardo on the way but that didn’t happen until the next May and our first bundle arrived the next January.

Would I advise anyone to get married that fast, that young and know so little about each other, not really having a clue about life? absofuckinglutley not!. I know as you read this you are thinking that ‘this is it’ but marriage isn’t like popping down the shops for a pint of milk, marriage should be taken seriously and while we worked bloody hard over the 15 years and there was some major down points (my fault totally and I live my life now via my mistakes that they are forever haunting me) but we didn’t just give up, I doubt anyone getting married at that age and that fast now would try as hard as we did because we very much live in a throwaway culture, this is why programs like ‘married at first sight’ really pisses me off because it doesn’t take marriage seriously in my opinion.

Did I like my life with Edwardo? of course I did, we had a really good 9 years and then another good 4 years after my blow out and went a bit alcoholic 30 year old midlife crisis should have kept my pants on scenario (yep, I did the unthinkable and I cheated, I cheated on Edwardo for 6 weeks, I wasn’t the person he fell in love with back then, I lost my way, through so called friends, drinking way to much and I lost a little bit of myself, my kids and my life back then, thankfully we worked through it, he learned to trust me once again although I was far to scared to drink when I wasn’t with him, which was never and this is why I blame myself for all my failures in life, because I committed a massive sin, I am still paying the price). We had three brilliant and wonderful children and we have some brilliant memories together but we reached a point that I think we both agree that it came to it’s natural end, We wasn’t the same people we were when we were 20 years old and I mean we were FRESH 20 years old, we were barely out of our teens, we had grown up, I had my going out phase a few years before and he wanted more after being cooped up in doors bringing three boys up while I went out to work, he found a life out there and I didn’t quite fit into it anymore (which is ironic as we went out loads after we split up!).

Do I regret my first marriage? Nope not in a million years, sometimes I wish I met Adam first but that would have been weird as he is much younger than me! but I don’t regret a single moment, I regret the year of madness, I regret missing my boys grow up through that period and I miss making Edwardo’s life a misery then but I would never regret the time I spent with him.

Why did I decide to marry again? Because I found my missing piece of my jigsaw, I found my soul mate, as horrible as that may look towards Edwardo, we wasn’t really matched, we were two people that fell in love like you do when you are young, had kids and got on with life, life was different with Edwardo, with him (and he would openly admit this) I was not very loving towards him, I mean I find it very hard to cuddle and say I love you but when I met Adam, I knew everything was different with him when I just wanted to cuddle him all the time and wanted to look after him, I knew he was different and while some people might think I am mad for getting married again, when you don’t really need to, after all it’s only a piece of paper but it’s not, it’s a union and a bond that you can’t break (well you can clearly!), it gives you that little bit more security, I love being his wife, taking his name and I know when he hears my name now his belly does a flip, marriage to me is everything.

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If you are thinking of getting married quickly and young, wait. Take your time and don’t rush, it’s your whole life ahead of you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

over), one of his best friends was a childhood friend of mine and I mean from the moment we were born, we were born on the same day, same hospital and all throughout our life we attended the same play school, primary and then secondary school and lived just a road apart, so Edwardo would visit often and one night we all went for a walk, little did I know just a couple of years later we would be married. We left school and he moved in with his girlfriend many miles away and