I strive to be liked, I always have like most people I guess, I would love to have that mental state where I can think ‘if they don’t like me, fuck them’ but it’s just not in me to do so.
I found out over the weekend that I am not well liked at work, a few people I get on well with but the vast majority of people dislike me and that’s a hell of a lot of people that have taking a disliking to me, all because someone I work with apparently ‘slags’ me off whenever they can, to find that out and the person doing it is very well liked and is a big influencer with lots of people, someone actually said to me over the weekend that spending time with me she actually found out I was a nice person, I was happy of course that I managed to change one persons thoughts of me but that’s one person.
I am not a nasty person, I try and help anyone I can, even if it means I miss out on things, I am not normally very lucky with things that I do but when it comes to my work, I work hard and I get rewarded for it; it’s something that I have found on more than one occasion in the many jobs I have had, the more you put in, the more you get out.
I began my job last year, part time working with a woman a little younger than myself and I quickly gained more hours and seemed to have more experience than her on a lot of levels but this has been the thing that has let me down ‘socially’. With gaining more hours and more responsibilities, trust and authority has made me a very unlikable person to my colleague, I didn’t set out for any of the above, I wanted to do my little job, go home and forget about it until the next day but I don’t work like that no matter how hard I try and for that reason it’s wrong to want to do well in your job and strive to have a better working environment etc.
To know I am not well liked, going in the next day really opened my eyes to who speaks to me, who only speaks one worded answers and it wasn’t a nice feeling (I kind of knew someone didn’t like me due to the fact my picture on the walls have been defaced on more than one occasion but just assumed it was someone else who dislikes everyone). I love my job but I want to love more then just my work, I want to be liked, I want people to ‘love’ me and not hate me for simply doing well in my chosen career. I know people shouldn’t listen to one person or they should find out for themselves and I like to think that I do find out, I’ve been friends with more black sheep then the popular people let me tell you! But people do, whoever shouts the loudest will be the one that gets heard and that person isn’t me and I have no idea what to do, I kind of feel like I want to try something new, go somewhere different (this isn’t the only reason) and start a fresh, start with ambition and speak up at the start and maybe I wouldn’t have found myself in this position.
But for now, I have to go in and make the best of the situation and only I can change people’s minds or find myself other employment, only I can make that change.